What they do is they take these baby ducks, and they just snip the pussy lips off of em, and it takes, like, 35 baby ducks to make one taco, but it is fucking worth it, man. But it sure helps to have a headliner believe in you like Foxworthy believed in White. No, no, White proudly proclaims on his fifth stand-up comedy special, and first for Netflix, that at 61, hes a raging alcoholic.. 13,103, This story has been shared 7,786 times. Required fields are marked *. It all smells like piss, dude. Your Ticket Confirmation # is located under the header in your email that reads "Your Ticket Reservation Details". White, meanwhile, has survived both divorce and divorce lawyers, and has put a lot of thought into drunk-driving checkpoints, the handsomeness of Chris Hemsworth, and the radical terrorist Canadian geese.. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Powered by Reelgood Since the Blue Collar Comedy Tour first started in 2000, Texas native Ron White has always stood apart from. And word of that spreads throughout the criminal community. [whispering] Charming. I may or may not be a little drunk. Vaginal rejuvenation. And I know some guys that have had one homosexual experience or two or 10,000, doesnt make a fuck bit of difference to me. '", Ana Navarro Jokes About Sara Haines' White House Correspondents' Dinner Antics on 'The View': "Maybe There Will Be a Restraining Order", Sunny Hostin Opens Up About Receiving Hurtful Emails on The View: Im Not Liked By Half The Country, Sunny Hostin Shades Meghan McCain for Scathing Column About 'The View': "Our Show Is a Wonderful Place". I always let him think he wet the fucking bed. Lets do a couple of blocks. Okay, heres mine: Just lunch, and a blowjob. Ron, wake up. And it turns out I had no problem with it at all. I didnt make the drinks. Coming Soon. Moxy and her colorful friends leave Uglyville on a quest to find a kid to love. Watch trailers & learn more. 'Succession' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: "Living+", 'Succession': Tom and Shiv's "Bitey" Game is the Horniest, Most Effed Up Thing Theyve Done Yet. That little spot tastes like Skittles. 2021 Scraps from the Loft. Im not busting on women from the Middle East. I keep a salt shaker by the side of the bed. I have no idea what Id do if I walked out and somebody was there, Id be like [yawning] [click] Oh, hey. I saw this on the news the other day. Ron White-Radical Terrorist Canadian Geese Reaction: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 17,559 views Oct 4, 2020 138 Dislike Bad Badger 902 subscribers Mom reacts to the radical. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up opens with soundbites from Whites previous specials, then we see him onstage, in a crisp suit, revealing to his fans how fame and fortune has changed him. He goes, I want you to stand on one foot, raise the other foot No, bullshit. Just lunch. So unhappy, theyre willing to bleach it until it becomes a more desirable color. Cause were looking for a gag gift, and if that doesnt gag her, I dont know what were going to use, cause its gotta be something big, you tell me. Now Ive got questions. Where Was 'John Mulaney: Baby J' on Netflix Filmed? [cheering and applause] When Jeff got big enough to take somebody with him, he took me with him, which was an amazingly gracious thing for Jeff to do for me. Besides, if youre at that point in a make-out session, youre gonna do it anyway. Its just the words they say, whatever the fuck they say just cracks me the fuck up. Coming Soon. Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Link to Asian-American Pacific Islander Heritage, Link to RT25: Celebrating 25 Years of Rotten Tomatoes. Thats all you get. Im sure youre grateful. A goose is the only animal on the planet could take a jetliner out of the fucking sky and make it land on the Hudson River. Im not trying to be an asshole, and I go, Really? So I really had to call and promote these shows and get everybody to come out, and I called this radio station in London. This one takes a bit to get going and funny, but once he starts, he keeps it going hard. And then the whole experience just started to creep me the fuck out. [Ron White] You ever take a crap so big your pants fit better? But oddly enough, I do have a suggestion for this. Copyright Fandango. Apparently there were some unanswered questions in Fat Midgets Fucking Fat Midgets. Because they rarely fucking die. [inaudible] [shouting] Whats it look like now? Where is Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up streaming? Stream It Or Skip It: 'White House Plumbers' On HBO, A Comedic Take On The Bumbling Team Behind The Watergate Break-In, Stream It Or Skip It: Kiss, Kiss! on Netflix, a Polish Rom-Com With an Oogy Womanizer Protagonist. Whats the problem? I said, I ordered a movie, it said, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing came on the TV. She goes, What did you order? Cast Away. Im like, No! Its almost like theres a clown there. It happened a long time ago, which doesnt fucking matter. Why? Great big old, big old, big uns. A chaotic intervention. Get in the car. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. They also say friends dont let friends drive drunk. I was in Melbourne, Florida, one time and I was driving a rental car, and I was by myself, and Id had two drinks. our special coverage of the white house correspondents dinner starts right now neck . So I dont have go out and party money. Thats something we dreamed about and it fucking happened. Geese started flying through the engines of that jet. You can get married now if youre gay, anywhere in America, thats fine with me. Thats why. She goes, Look, its just on the wrong channel. Click. Watch Ron White only on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/in/title/80244900Follow NETFLIX IS A JOKE:Facebook: www.facebook.com/NetflixIsAJokeTwitter: www.twitter.com/NetflixIsAJokeInstagram: www.instagram.com/NetflixIsAJokeSUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/29qBUt7About Netflix:Netflix is the world's leading internet entertainment service with 130 million memberships in over 190 countries enjoying TV series, documentaries and feature films across a wide variety of genres and languages. Im all over it, dude. The other day I was watching Tarzan, the new Tarzan movie. Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. [inaudible] I want to start off this evening by telling you something about me you may not know. This befuddled me. And Danny wakes up and he goes, I had a dream. Ron, wake up. I was doing a meet and greet the other day right after a show, this young guy goes, When my girlfriend comes back from vacation with her parents, Im going to ask her to marry me. His face is plastered all over Vegas and we are having a fucking blast. A little while back I was watching this documentary on transvestites, and they start talking about the transvestite scene thats been on Hotel Street on Oahu for 55years. Call 9-1-1 or something. Cause there aint no goddamn women there. No sabemos si las ancdotas son ciertas o es todo parte de la rutina, pero sea como fuere, la balanza se inclina 3 a 0 a favor, razn por la cual tens que ver este especial ;)Hasta el prximo episodio Gracias por ver! I have no idea what color my asshole is. CatherineBridget86886758. I would have missed the boat if I was in the porno business right there. Thats all. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. Charming. Thats all I know. Follow officers from a South Carolina sheriffs department as they urgently search for individuals who've disappeared under troubling circumstances. But it turns out, theyre great watchdogs. Now I live in Beverly Hills in a house my wife and I just built, and I was doing an interview the other day, and this guy asked me, Has it changed you? After Id been there for a little while, I found out there was one part of Hotel Street on Oahu that you go to, and these really cute girls that jump in your car and blow you for five dollars. But I took her to Vegas. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up I dont have another eight goddamn dollars. And I called the front desk in a panic. You should have the person help you move all the shit out and then shoot him. I picked up the DVD, looked at the cover, it looked like somebodys trying to shove a pumpkin through a beach ball. We walk up to this booth that only sells dildos. When she looks the other way, I just grab it. One anything has the potential to become a DUI checkpoint if you crash your car into it. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 Directed by Tom Forrest Synopsis Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. It was about three years ago, and there were six comics in an open forum, telling stories, and this is the story that I told. Get a dress the size of a fucking barn and come on back to the Golden Corral. [mooing] They call it Golden Corral, of course, because somebody was already using the name Ye Olde Fat Fuckery. Fully-functioning organs are not necessary to watch Ron Whites new special, If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up. I dont need this shit. So when Bill gets finished, he comes down and does a set with us and when we get done with our shows, Bill and Jeff wanna go drinking and gambling, and I want to go to a prayer meeting and a poetry reading that Id heard about. 1,802, This story has been shared 1,410 times. Ron White..Spa Day..If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut up..Reaction!! Youre not even trying? I ordered the movie. She brings these dogs home, and Im like, What the fuck? And she goes, Theyre watchdogs, Im like, What are they gonna watch? Filming Locations for the Disney+ Movie, Alexander Molony Is the Perfect Blend of Charming and Naive in Disney+s Peter Pan & Wendy, What Does "Doderick Macht Frei" on 'Succession' Mean? I think if it didnt keep my wife awake, I wouldnt know I had it. Its got three comedy clubs and Id just done a 15-minute set in the OR, which is the original room, but they call it the OR. Now Ive never walked in the doors of this place, and I dont know exactly what theyre up to, but apparently some people are really unhappy with the color of the old bunghole. ", Stream It Or Skip It: 'Moonage Daydream' on HBO Max, a David Bowie Biography That's More Sensual Experience than Documentary, Personality Crisis: One Night Only Finds Punk Pioneer David Johansen Recounting His Many Lives, Stream It Or Skip It: 'The Legacy of J Dilla' on FX/Hulu, Exploring The Life, Beats, And Career Of The Late Hip-Hop Hero, Stream It Or Skip It: Little Richard: I Am Everything on VOD, A Biodoc As Vibrant As Its Subject, The Peter Pan & Wendy Sea Shanty Is An Ear Worm That Will Haunt Your Dreams, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Peter Pan and Wendy' on Disney+, Director David Lowery's Lightly Visionary Disney Rehash, Where Was Peter Pan and Wendy Filmed? Im fucking over it. So I decided to spend the night at Joe Paines house, who had been my friend since I was six years old. Watch Ron White: If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up on Netflix, This story has been shared 41,150 times. I just never have. You fucking idiot. Sean L. McCarthy works the comedy beat for his own digital newspaper,The Comics Comic; before that, for actual newspapers. Young Queen Charlotte's marriage to King George of England sparks an epic love story and transforms high society in this "Bridgerton" universe prequel. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Now, I dont know whats wrong with your vagina that makes you think it needs to be rejuvenated. I really do. Ill tell you how the conversation ended, and then youll know how it went. Ladies, if you dont like the way the cooch is looking, before you go do something that extreme, try this. Theyre doing whatever the fuck they want to do whenever the fuck they want to do it. It was so fucking funny. You're almost there! Te gust Big Jay Oakerson: DOG BELLY ?, descubre pelculas del mismo gnero y temticas, pelculas como Dave Chappelle: 8:46, Mike Epps: Indiana Mike, Kyle Kinane: Trampoline In A Ditch, Rose Matafeo: Horndog, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up,. Get married, dont get married. Somebodys gotta drive. Fuck it. While TVs sitcom rednecks encountered cute culture clashes with their posh new neighbors, White regales us with how he has come to respect and almost admire the gay men in the West Hollywood bars near his home. And if youd like to buy the bicycle, just go to my house in Beverly Hills, and its 400 yards from there. You know, they do that now. No other animal crosses the road with this kind of fucking poise. Okay. Lukas Matsson's Tweet Explained. A broom handle, a pool cue, a fucking plunger. Gag, woman, gag. Fuck no, you have not. I ran, um I ran for president of the United States, and I dont think I won, because nobodys called and I quit watching television. Recorded at The Paramount Theater in Denver, CO, stand-up comedienne Kathleen Madigan explores topics including aging parents, interactions with millennials, and hunting bigfoot. Id give you half my shit right now, but I dont make up the rules.. I started this tour a while back in Las Vegas, and while I was there, I was walking down the Strip, my wife and I, and theyre having a sex toy convention, which is one of their five biggest conventions of the year. Now, I think its a little strange that vaginal rejuvenation is fine, yet its illegal to roll back the odometer on your car. Im 61 years old now, and I know two things to be true. Itll be fun. Im like, All right, lets go. And it was unbelievable, huge, all the big dildo companies were there, uh. Big old round uns, big old muumuu and 400-plus, great big old big uns. Um, Im from a very, very small dusty town in northwest Texas, and I grew up in this little bitty house that was built by my father and my grandfather the year I was born, 1956. And I wear wild socks, and So Im having breakfast in this restaurant across the street from the hotel Im staying in, by myself, and I finish with my meal, I realize I dont have any money. Profane. You know why? Sure, they bleed to death in the trash can when you throw them away, but theyre baby ducks. Over 15 million albums, not including the millions and millions of Blue Collar albums you guys bought. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Starring:Ron White Watch all you want. [bleating] I cant wait till they go hog-wild and just put a sugar lick right there in the middle of the fucking room. And the way he found out he didnt wet the bed, is he lived in Round Rock, Texas, and I hadnt really seen him in years, and I was doing this radio station and I told that story, and he called the radio station, You fucking pissed on me? [sobbing] I had nightmares about it my entire goddamn childhood. I just like to see it. And I was watching that movie The Help, and Im like, I know hes not a young negro woman, but if he just had on an apron and no shirt I consider myself a gold star heterosexual. After dedicating years of service at a matchmaking company, Arini tries to piece together her mysterious past and memories of a former client. Governor Schwarzenegger helped me with that second one, so I didnt have to do that one myself, so thats good. Quit trimming it for a year. You imagine how I think fucking now what Id do to you. And the punchline of that story is, I come back to the States, when I get back to the States, my assistant goes, Ron, did you hear that John Mayhew died? And Im like, John Mayhew Why do I know that name? Its your ex-wifes divorce lawyer. [laughing quietly] Oh, I hated that motherfucker. .08 is a revenue stream for the federal fucking government, is what .08 is. I wouldnt and Ill tell you why. What kind of balls does it take to put the word corral on the name of your fucking restaurant? Boy, do they know that demographic! A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. and the I know this. I hope you guys enjoyed it. You gotta kill the duck to get the duck meat. Or didnt use to, anyhow. Britain's most talented young bakers wow judges with cakes, biscuits, breads and more in this kid-focused spinoff of "The Great British Baking Show.". White, I smell alcohol on your breath. I said, Thats been there since 77, dude. You pour that much Scotch on a tongue, its gonna smell like Scotch forever. Yeah! Follow officers from a South Carolina sheriffs department as they urgently search for individuals who've disappeared under troubling circumstances. But why settle for fictional tall tales when you can sit back and enjoy Whites actual road stories. sophia peabody hawthorne paintings, bitlife pivotal moment answer, university of georgia golf coach,
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